do you think there is a reason for these guys to carry the thread around on their backs like snails is because they think the six words they have to say might be banal jajajajaja whatever

I have been spun dry many times but you know you are an alcoholic when...

You can see your breath in July.

You can’t say the word sober without making air quotes.

You feel incredibly sexy despite the vomit stain down the front of your shirt.

Gin never gives you a hangover, but martini olives absolutely murder you.

You figure the cab companies are making a fortune off the cell phones, lighters and all that other shit that falls out of your pockets.

You know to put extra ice in your cocktail when you take a hot shower.

Contrary to popular opinion, you don’t drink all the time. You just enjoy having a few civilized night caps, day caps, afternoon caps and morning caps.

After eight drinks your “hugs” bear an uncanny resemblance to UFC take-downs.

You fell into a whiskey vat and bravely fought off your rescuers for three hours.

The first thing you think when you can’t find your wallet is, “Great, now how am I going to buy beer?”

What?........English, por favor.

Take it easy, Goulet, this is a fun thread......don't tell me you are like "popo"?.......no sense of humor at all.

Relax......here, have these 3 Orange Schnapps bottles.......PLEASE drink it all at once. JAJAJAJAJAJA.

Johnnie WalkerThe Striding Man
All Dressed Up and Somewhere to Go
Johnnie Walker Scotch Whisky

Johnnie Walker’s first foray into print advertising left something to be desired: the 1883 illustration featured a broken-hearted Scot boo-hooing over a bottle of whisky smashed at his feet.

The exercise-obsessed dandy who would lead Johnnie Walker to the pinnacle of scotch supremacy didn’t hit the ground walking until 1909. Modeled after the company’s founder, John “Johnnie” Walker, the character was drawn by famed illustrator Tom Browne under the direction of George Walker, John’s grandson. Initially called “The Regency Buck,” the icon’s moniker was later toned down to the more descriptive (if less dashing) “The Striding Man.” The family name had more than a little to do with the logo’s ambulatory nature.

Why It Worked: His top hat, walking stick, breeches and riding boots promise a refined product for an upscale market. Combine that with his elusiveness (yes, he can see you fine through his solid-gold eyeglasses, he simply doesn’t have time to dally with the likes of you) and it makes for a very attractive symbol for the rung-climbing careerist set with money to spend. This formula also dovetails nicely with Johnnie Walker’s ladder of incrementally expensive color-coded whiskies.

Inviso JohnnieEvolution: During the 1950s The Striding Man took a break from pounding the pavement for a bit of sport, appearing in adverts engaged in the gentlemanly pursuits of golf and billiards. He hit the bricks shortly thereafter and remained relatively unchanged until very recently. All that pacing must have helped him think, because he presently seems to have solved the riddle of invisibility (see right.) If you thought he the was hard to pin down before, try to catch him after he strips down. Why the change? Graphic artists are ever striving to make marketing symbols simpler, and thus easier to recognize. And in this case you’re going to have to recognize him by his threads, because his face has vanished.

Dark Secret: Was once a bootlegger. During America’s bout with prohibition, the distillery engaged in what they called their “special trade,” that being the delivery of boatloads of their whisky into the hands of rumrunners working from small Canadian isles near the U.S. coast.

Claim to Fame: Aside from dominating the world-wide Scotch market, Johnnie Walker is Superman’s choice of liquor.

Hey, you may want to have another "sip" now that the TROLL was thrown down the toilet. JAJAJAJAJA.

Major League Lushes

The B&WL may have collapsed in 1891, but drinking one’s way around the diamond continued unabated, despite the actions of hostile, teetotaling owners and managers. For example:

Arthur “Bugs” Raymond: The owner of a wicked spitball, Bugs (who got his nickname from his weird windup and generally twitchy mound antics) was a manager’s nightmare. He didn’t like being told what to do. By anyone. When word of his epic nights on the town started getting around, his manager, John McGraw, hired a private detective to tail Bugs and report back on his activities. The detective was fired when McGraw entered a bar and found the PI and Bugs in the midst of a drinking contest. Bugs’ friend and fellow hurler Christy Mathewson warned teammates that “after a night out, don’t get too close to Bugs, his breath will stop a freight train.”

RubeGeorge “Rube” Waddell: One of MLB’s first superstars, Rube notched 349 strikeouts over his career, a record that stood for over 60 years, and he remains sixth on the all-time strikeout list. Pitching legend Walter Johnson praised Rube, saying he “had more sheer pitching ability than any man I ever saw.”

Rube, who made money in the off-season wrestling alligators, could out-drink pretty much anyone. Called the “sousepaw” by Sporting News, Rube spent the whole of his first signing bonus with the Philadelphia Athletics on a bender. When his cash ran low, as it so often did in those low-paying days, Rube would trade that day’s game ball for drinks at a nearby tavern. His manager, Connie Mack, decided to “cure” Rube’s drinking by putting a worm in his whiskey and pointing out how the critter died a slow wriggling death. When Mack asked Rube if he understood the implication, Rube responded in the affirmative, saying, “Sure, it means I won’t get worms.”

Steve Bilko: In the oddball category we find this first baseman for the Los Angeles Angels. “Stout Steve” struggled throughout his lengthy career to control his weight, trying one method after another to drop excess pounds, until he finally hit upon a novel solution. As a serious beer enthusiast, Bilko always had a case or two around the locker room. One evening after a game he emptied a case of beer into a bath tub full of ice, added hot water, and—presto!—created his own beer sauna. He would sit in the resulting beer steam, alternately pouring one can in the tub and another in himself.

Jim Bouton: A pitcher for the Yankees, Bouton also wrote Ball Four, the first book to talk honestly about the world of professional baseball. The tell-all created so much controversy that one team held a book-burning, and League Commissioner Bowie “The Ayatollah” Kuhn tried to force Bouton to sign a statement stating that none of the book was true. Bouton refused, and to this day he is not invited to Old-Timers Day at Yankee Stadium.

Bouton and his teammates routinely went out for ten or so drinks after a game. It was an important ritual among the men. As Bouton recalls in Ball Four: “There is unquestionably a close feeling among the guys who go out and drink because they hash over the ball game and it gives us all a feeling of common purpose. Slogan: the team that drinks together stays together.” He always had beer around the clubhouse, saying that to drink anything else (such as milk or soda) would be akin to a cowboy “walking into a western saloon, pounding on the bar, and demanding a sarsaparilla.”

Bouton also records the following exchange between his teammates Jim Pagliaroni and Greg Goossen. The two men were sitting at the bar and Goossen was knocking beers back one after another.

Pagliaroni: Don’t you have a game tomorrow?
Goossen: Yeah, we got a game.
Pagliaroni: You’re drinking a little heavy, aren’t you?
Goossen: You know something? I found I can’t play if I feel good. I’ve got to have a little bit of a hangover to get the best out of me.

is this stuff good? I never had it. is it second rate stuff that they could not sell in russia??? Everything is hype in DR, this could be hot today and gone tommorow

A sip in celebration or a sip in mourning since we know he'll be back?

Going to buy a bottle this week and let you know. When you mix your Absolute (or Johnny Walker Black) with apple juice does taste really matter? It makes me so mad to see people buying expensive wiski or vodka and mixing it with fruit juice. However, I hope it catches on because it will make going to the liquor store on Saturday nite more than half price even if the girls drink twice as much!!!!

how many drinks until she will be loosy?